The Relationship Funeral
Get the Closure He’ll Never Give You
Sacred closure ceremony for situationships, breakups, divorce, or any relationship that ended without proper goodbye
It ended.
Maybe it was a 3-month situationship that never got defined.
Maybe it was a 3-year relationship that imploded.
Maybe it was a marriage that died slowly, then all at once.
Maybe it was an engagement that got called off.
However it ended, wherever you are now, one thing is true:
You’re waiting for closure that will never come.
He’s not going to call and explain.
He’s not going to apologize for wasting your time.
He’s not going to give you the conversation you deserve.
He’s moved on. And you’re still stuck.
So we’re going to create the closure ourselves.
I’m going to help you hold a funeral for the relationship that died.
Not a metaphor.
Not “just get over it.”
An actual ceremony where we honor what was, grieve what’s lost, and bury what’s dead.
So you can finally be FREE.
This Is For You If:
You ended a situationship and he never gave you real closure
You’re healing from a breakup and can’t stop replaying what happened
You’re divorced and the legal ending doesn’t match the emotional reality
You had an engagement end and the future you planned died with it
You’re stuck on any relationship that ended without proper goodbye
And:
- You’ve tried to “just move on” but you can’t
- You’re tired of checking if he’s viewed your stories
- You keep hoping he’ll reach out with answers
- Everyone says “you should be over it by now”
- You know you need closure but he won’t give it
- You’re ready to stop waiting and START healing
What We’ll Do Together
1. Write the Eulogy
We’ll put words to what died:
- The relationship itself
- The hope you carried
- The future you planned
- The version of him you loved
- The person you were with him
2. Grieve Fully
Permission to feel EVERYTHING:
- The sadness
- The anger
- The regret
- The relief
- All of it
3. Release Ceremonially
A guided closure ritual where we bury:
- What ended
- What you hoped for
- What never was
- The waiting
4. Rise Forward
Create your resurrection plan:
- What’s next for you
- What you want in your next relationship
- How you’ll know he’s worthy
- Your first steps toward freedom
What’s Included:
During Your 90-Minute Session:
- Sacred space for honest grief
- Co-written relationship eulogy
- Guided anger release
- Ceremonial burial ritual
- Forgiveness work (for him and yourself)
- Moving forward action plan
After Your Session:
- Your personalized eulogy (beautiful PDF)
- Relationship “Death Certificate” (symbolic closure document)
- 7 Days of Grief & Release journal prompts
- Your custom moving forward plan
- 7-day Voxer support for continued processing
Ready to Get Free?
One 90-minute session + all deliverables + 7 days of support
BOOK YOUR FUNERAL NOW10 spots available this month
Why a Funeral?
Because traditional “closure” advice doesn’t work:
- “Just get over it” – dismisses your pain
- “Time heals all wounds” – but you’re tired of waiting
- “Focus on yourself” – you ARE, but the grief is still there
- “He wasn’t worth it” – but your heart doesn’t care
What DOES work:
- Honoring that it mattered
- Grieving what’s actually lost
- Releasing it ceremonially
- Creating closure yourself
If we can have funerals for people who die, we can have them for relationships that do too.
Who I Am
I’m Joanna, a Proverbs 31 Main Character Coach and Certified Holistic Health Coach.
I help Christian women heal from heartbreak, reclaim their confidence, and find godly men who are actually worthy.
I created The Relationship Funeral because I was watching too many women wait YEARS for closure that never came.
Your pain deserves to be honored.
Your grief deserves space.
Your healing deserves support.
Let me hold that space for you. 🕊️
What Women Are Saying
“I was stuck for 18 months after my divorce. One 90-minute session and I finally feel FREE.”
— Sarah M.
“I thought the ‘situationship funeral’ was just a TikTok trend. Then I actually had one. It changed everything.”
— Maria L.
“After my engagement ended, everyone expected me to just move on. This gave me permission to actually GRIEVE.”
— Jessica R.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Is this just for situationships?
A: No! This works for ANY ended relationship – situationships, breakups, divorce, broken engagements, long-term relationships. If it ended and you need closure, this is for you.
Q: What if I’m a Christian? Is this biblical?
A: Absolutely. Grief is biblical (Psalms, Lamentations, Jesus wept). We integrate Scripture, prayer, and forgiveness work. This is SACRED healing.
Q: What if it’s been years since the relationship ended?
A: Doesn’t matter. Grief doesn’t have a timeline. If you’re still carrying it, you still need to release it.
Q: Will this feel weird or awkward?
A: It might feel unfamiliar at first. But most women tell me it feels SACRED. Like they finally got permission to feel everything they’ve been holding in.
Q: What if I cry the whole time?
A: GOOD. Tears are welcome. This is grief work. Crying is healing.
Q: What if I’m not “spiritual”?
A: That’s okay. I can adjust the ritual to whatever feels right for you – faith-based or not.
Q: How is this different from therapy?
A: Therapy helps you process over time. This is a one-time RITUAL that creates ceremonial closure. Both are valuable. This is specific to relationship endings.
Q: What if I’m afraid of “letting go”?
A: We’re not letting go of the lessons, the growth, or the good memories. We’re letting go of the HOPE that keeps you stuck. There’s a difference.
💯 Money-Back Guarantee
If you don’t feel a tangible shift toward closure and freedom after this session, I’ll refund you.
Your healing matters more than my revenue.
It’s Time to Bury What’s Dead
So you can finally be free
10 spots available this month
BOOK YOUR FUNERAL NOW 🕊️Book Your Relationship Funeral
Choose your session time below:
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Questions? DM me on Instagram: @xojoannabianco
You’ve carried this pain long enough.
It’s time to let it rest.
🕊️
Love,
Joanna